But It's So Much Fun!

Try as we might, we parents pretty much can’t avoid embarrassing our kids. And, really, isn't it kinda fun to do? A survey of 2,000 people revealed the top 10 parental behaviors that made kids cringe. Let's see how many of these you've done to your kids, or had your parents do to you!

1.Watching movie sex scenes with your parents.
2.Talking about sex.
3.Using abbreviations like LOL and OMG.
4.Parental PDA.
5.Dads who go through mid-life crises.
6.Moms who read Fifty Shades of Grey.
7.Wearing revealing bathing suits.
8.Getting drunk.
9.Discovering your parents’ sketchy Google search histories.
10.Dressing too young.

Now, what activities or behaviors did your parents do that embarrassed you? And have you ever embarrassed your kids? Drop us an email with your favorite story: johnandjacklyn@kicks1063.com

Twerk Or Treat!

Halloween really snuck up on us this year! Don’t be scared- you have one more day to choose a costume. According to Google data, you can expect to see a lot of trick-or-treaters dressed as Minions from theDespicable Me films this year- it was the number-one search topic in October, followed by “Miley Cyruscostume.” In fact, several websites are selling versions of the gray teddy bear leotard Miley wore in her much-talked-about VMAs performance. A word of warning: a small survey revealed single guys aged 27-39 think they have the best shot at going home with a girl dressed like Miley on Halloween. Here's a look at the real deal and one of the costumes available!

If you’re not looking to attract thatkind of attention, consider some of these other popular costume ideas according to Google’s search data: characters from Breaking Bad, Game of Thrones and Duck Dynasty, The Fox from Ylvis’ viral video of the same name and Batman.

John's Arch Nemesis: The Twin Maples

John here~ So I've been recounting my continuing battle with the leaves in our yard as the fall has progressed. Those who've been listening have heard me grumble about the twin maple trees in our front yard that have waited to turn color and drop their leaves this year. They seem to be later than normal this year, and I believe it's a conspiracy. The ash trees in the back yard are done, the crabapple trees in the side yard are done. But the twin maples out front? They're going to make me pick up leaves well into November! Curses, what a diabolical plan! Anyway, I thought I'd share a pic of the two notorious trees in question. As you can see, they've finally turned color and they are certainly beautiful. And although they have started dropping leaves, they have a ways to go. Nasty trees.

Creating the Real Walking Dead

The timing of the news about the new heroin-like drug, Krokodil hitting Wisconsin couldn't have come at a more apropos time, with Halloween on the horizon.  This nasty new, man-made drug, which originated in Russia, is comprised of crushed codeine pills and a mixture of chemicals, like gasoline, lighter fluid and other toxic substances.

Apparently, officials had their first patient in Eau Claire, exhibiting the effects of Krokodil.  The drug literally makes abusers resemble crocodiles, as it rots their flesh from the inside-out, creating a real zombie appearance.  I watched two YouTube videos and couldn't finish either one, as I was choking back the vomit.  The flesh of the abuser was literally gone in one case, revealing only bone, where once a calf muscle existed.  His foot, a mere glob of dead flesh.  If you think you can stomach it, feel free to watch it here.  YouTube has deemed this video to be so horrifically graphic, that they require you to enter a birthdate to prove you are old enough to view it.

There are other videos, but this one is the earliest documentation of the effects that I could find.  It was put up approximately two years ago, which means that it's taken about two years for the vile drug to get to Wisconsin.  Why here? Well, much like a band on tour, it makes sense to pick up another gig between shows. La Crosse and Eau Claire are stopping points between Minneapolis and Chicago.

According to sources, Krokodil is a more potent high and cheaper too, with a going rate of $2 vs. $20 for heroin.  For a junkie, that would be attractive and they are not likely considering the advertising mantra, that you get what you pay for, when it comes to products.  The life expectancy of a Krokodil user is about two years.

I read a lot of Facebook posts over the weekend by people who are outraged at those who could do this drug.  I used to echo those thoughts too, until the fear that someone I love might be tempted to use it.  It's easy to cast dispersions on drug users.  To you and I, it seems like the most stupid thing in the world to do.  We like to be in control of our lives and would NEVER succumb to something like that!  Only junkies do that!

But who are the junkies?  How are they "created?"

Junkies are simply put, somebody's son or daughter.   Somebody's brother or sister.  Somebody's nephew or niece.  More specifically, they are someone who needs help in dealing with some inner problems, but never got that assistance to overcome their demons.  Demons that originated from years of child abuse perhaps, or the effects of seeing awful things during wartime, or even an undiagnosed chemical imbalance.

Not everyone has the "tools" to deal with such adversity.  Some people actually need professional help and many never receive it, whether it's because of their ability to hide or mask their challenges, or their inability to pay for services like therapy or counseling.  Add to that, the stigma of getting therapy, and it makes an already difficult situation virtually impossible.  When you consider this, it's not so hard to understand people who find themselves susceptible to the lure of drugs.  It's an easy way to placate their pain, with an impulsive purchase.

We humans have the propensity to make horrible decisions.  And addictions are a tough thing to beat, particularly on your own.

I have no answers, other than to try harder not to judge those who have riddled their bodies with drugs.  They obviously need some help and have slipped through the cracks in life.  But most importantly, they are somebody's son or daughter and are worthy of love and help... even if they act like they don't want it.  

Who Rules The Pizza World?

If a road trip is in your plans this weekend, and you'll be looking for your favorite pizza place, then this may interest you: FlowingDATA.com has prepared a map of the most prevalent pizza chains in the United States. Domino’s and Papa John’s seem to control the eastern seaboard while Little Caesar’s dominates LA. And Pizza Hut is all over the middle of the country. Take a look at the map here. But it's interesting when you look at our part of the country that the Upper Mid-West seems clogged with all the major chains. Guess we get our choice! Do you have a favorite pizza chain or are you loyal to our local mom and pop pizza joints? Email us at johnandjacklyn@kicks1063.com.

Dog Owners Beware!

If you give your dog (or cat, in some cases) jerky treats, you'll want to read this: The FDA has been actively investigating consumer complaints about jerky pet treats causing illness in dogs and in some cats. As of Sept. 24, 2013, over 3,600 dogs and 10 cats have reportedly become ill from eating jerky pet treats. The scary part is that because pet treats aren't subject to the same scrutiny human foods are, no one knows for sure which brands may contain an ingredient that's making the pooches sick, or even what the suspicious ingredient may be! According to the FDA, "The treats are sold as jerky tenders or strips and are made with chicken, duck, sweet potato, dried fruit, and in combinations of these ingredients." Read the full bulletin from the FDA here.

Harvesting Gas

I've heard a lot of talk about harvesting the methane produced by cows to use as energy for powering our lifestyles, but it would seem that it's getting a little closer to becoming reality.

Researchers from the National Institute of Agriculture Technology in Argentina are on it.  However, they're focusing on gaseous emissions from the smiling end of a cow.  I have to believe if we capitalized on both ends, the power would be golden.

I'm curious if it works exclusively with cows, or if we could hook something up to my husband, as he could likely power up our entire neighborhood and then some.

Doh!!

Bad News:  Someone is likely going to lose their job over this incident on "Dancing with the Stars."  Good News:  You've likely never screwed up this bad in public, so take comfort in that.

Proof-reading is so important.  If you don't believe that, just talk to the guy who was supposed to double check that the phone numbers designated for each performer were displayed correctly.  Instead, mismatched phone numbers were placed with performances of some dancers.  The end result?  No one was eliminated, due to this snafu.

If you're a big fan of comedian Bill Engvall, you're likely believing in some redneck cosmic intervention.  That, or prayer.  Bill was at the bottom of the scores going into the night and despite that heavy anchor around his neck, he will live to dance another week on DWTS.

I love Bill Engvall. His dancing... not so much, but I applaud him for getting out there and giving it his best every week.  And at least he hasn't met his demise by screwing up some graphic that sent producers into cardiac arrest.  He'll still have a job when he leaves the show, unlike the poor guy who did the graphics this week for voting.  Perhaps there's an opening in government for that man?  Maybe assisting to get the phone numbers out for assistance with the new Healthcare Marketplace?

At The Risk Of Offending Blondes...

John here! I found this picture over the weekend and had to share it at the risk of offending the blondes out there. Figured we could all use a little light humor on a Monday, right?

Boob Deodorant?

A friend of mine (male) received a piece of spam in his email yesterday, which he promptly declined, but then forwarded onto me, "in case" I was interested.  How nice of him.  The product?  Breast Deodorant.  True story!

Honestly, I had never heard of it, however if I think long and hard, I can attest to having seen a few women in my life giving a swipe of their underarm deodorant under their boobies.  It's not really that far-fetched.  Skin-on-skin is generally a harbinger of sweat and that situation is not only present with the armpits, but also with under the boobies, between the toes and quite bluntly, also in the family jewels area of the male anatomy.

The whole topic got me pondering and oddly enough, after some research, I found there is a company that makes a nifty "lotion" that can be "rubbed into the offending area." Goes on wet and dries like powder, preventing sweating and chaffing.  However, the image of a man rubbing that stuff into his...  

Did you just spew your drink all over your computer monitor, much as I did?

Perhaps this could become a morning ritual to be shared by couples? They can "help" each other with the application, for a less awkward situation.  Of course, they'd all probably be late for work each day, but I digress.

So, I guess the bottom line is this:  It's a real problem and this stuff is apparently a real solution.  Would you use it?  Have you ever taken your underarm deodorant and used it under your boobs... or your "boys," if you're a guy.  I can honestly say I have not, but this new product that works as a lotion and dries like a powder is intriguing on all fronts... and nether regions, as the case may warrant.

Would you use it? Do you use anything for this apparently "common problem?" Drop us an email!               ~Jacklyn

My Backup Career?

My mother has preached to me all of my life to keep a backup plan ready in all situations.  Whether it's making sure to have an extra bottle of laundry detergent on hand, for when the current one runs out, or having an idea for a backup career, if the current one takes a dive.

Well, guess what mom?  I found my backup career in Madison and it's at "The Snuggle House,"  which opens today, provided all of the proper permits have been obtained.  The best part about it is that it would seem that I won't need to go back to school for an additional degree to do this, as I'm already pretty proficient at snuggling.

Are you confused? Allow me to elaborate.  "The Snuggle House," is a place people can go to get hugged, spooned or cuddled, as touch therapy.  Yep. Perfect strangers can plunk down $60 to spoon with someone for a therapeutic hour.  (Already, my mind is racing, adding up the $60 an hour wage!  I could have my house paid off in no time!!)  Plus, I'm an excellent hugger!

And while Hannah Rode, the manager of the establishment says no hanky-panky will be taking place, I'm not sure what the protocol is to enforce that stance.  But who cares, right?!  I mean I could make $60 an hour as a "Professional Snuggler," like Lonnie Johnson, who is the only male in the place!  Lucky Lonnie!  As the only man, he'll surely make a killing at this gig!  And he sports long hair, so that's sure to be a draw for the lonely middle-aged women, who long for more "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter" commercials from Fabio!

Mom will be so proud that I've discovered a backup career for myself!!        ~Jacklyn

Guilty By Association?

Imagine your high school son or daughter received a phone call from a friend, who had drank too much at a party and was seeking a safe ride home.  How would you hope they handle that request?

Well, in the case of Erin Cox, a senior at North Andover High School in Boston, it's a story that makes me question common sense.  After receiving that phone call from a friend, Erin drove to the party to give said inebriated friend a safe ride home.  Shortly after she arrived at the party, so did the police, who proceeded to hand out underage drinking tickets.  Erin was cleared by the police as not having had any alcohol.

However, school officials took a different view on the situation.  Erin was demoted from Team Captain of her volleyball team and suspended for five games, because she was in violation of a zero tolerance policy against drugs and alcohol.

Erin's family has filed a lawsuit and the school reciprocated by filing an injunction.  The judge in the case has ruled that the court does not have jurisdiction in this matter.

So the question becomes, should Erin have allowed her intoxicated friend get behind the wheel and drive, to avoid having a punishment handed down to her by association?  Or should she provide a safe ride to her friend?

If you ask me, common sense should rule here and Erin should NOT have been punished for helping a friend who was intoxicated.  Who knows how many lives she may have saved by providing a safe ride?  And while I can appreciate the zero tolerance policy at the school, surely they should understand that Erin was not drinking, but trying to prevent a bad situation from getting worse.

What do you think? Did the school make the right or wrong decision?  Drop us an email.

Probably The Last People Who Should Make This Mistake!

Now this is what we call an ungodly error. The Vatican recently issued a medal commemorating Pope Francis’first year, and somehow spelled the son of God’s name wrong. The medals feature a Latin phrase that Francis said inspired him to join the priesthood, but instead of Jesus, Italy’s state mint printed them with the word “Lesus.” Six thousand of the medals were printed in silver and bronze, with another 200 in gold, and were supposed to go on sale Tuesday, but now all of them have been recalled. Read more about it here.

And The Nominees Are...

The nominees for the 2013 American Music Awards (AMAs) were revealed by Kelly Clarkson and will.i.am yesterday morning during ABC's broadcast of Good Morning America. Five categories were announced live on air followed by a press conference to reveal the remaining seventeen categories. Macklemore & Ryan Lewis lead this year's pack with six nominations, Taylor Swiftand Justin Timberlake are tied for second with five nods apiece and Florida Georgia Line is tied with Rihanna and Robin Thicke with four nominations each. Taylor will go up against Timberlake, Macklemore & Ryan Lewis, Bruno Mars and Rihanna for the night's top prize Artist of the Year. In the non-country categories, Swift is also up for Favorite Female Artist – Pop/Rock and Favorite Album – Pop/Rock for her Red album. FGL is nominated for New Artist of the Year and the remix of their song "Cruise" with Nelly is nominated for Single of the Year. The 2013 AMAs will be broadcast live from Los Angeles on November 24 at 7:00.

Country Nominees

Favorite Male Artist – Country

Luke Bryan

Hunter Hayes

Blake Shelton

Favorite Female Artist – Country

Miranda Lambert

Taylor Swift

Carrie Underwood

Favorite Band, Duo or Group - Country

The Band Perry

Florida Georgia Line

Lady Antebellum

Favorite Album - Country

Luke Bryan/Crash My Party

Florida Georgia Line/Here’s To The Good Times

Taylor Swift/Red

What's Really In Those Nuggets

Sometimes, you’re better off not knowing what’s in your food. Just the same, a new study looked at the real contents of the average chicken nugget…and the results may take away your appetite. Researchers examined nuggets from unnamed fast food chains in Mississippi and found that they contained only about 50% real chicken breast and thigh meat. So what exactly made up the other half? “An artificial mixture of chicken parts,” including fat, bone, cartilage, blood vessels and nerve cells. Not only does that sound gross, but it also results in a snack that’s super-high in fat, salt and calories. On second thought, maybe you don’t want fries with that. Read more about the report here. So, do you care what chicken nuggets are made of? Do you like to know exactly what goes into your food (or do you prefer NOT knowing)? Drop us an email, johnandjacklyn@kicks1063.com

Tiny Seahawks Fan Knows the Entire Team

Think you're an expert on your favorite NFL team? Think again! Meet 3 year-old Kalee Buetow. She's not the biggest or loudest Seahawks fan in the world, but it's not a stretch to say she's the most adorable fan of them all. Even the casual fan knows the basics about the Seahawks, but 3-year-old Kalee goes miles beyond the basics. Quizzed by her father, Kalee happily rattles off the names and positions of nearly every player on the roster. "Who's the quarterback?" her dad asks. "Russell Wilson," she replies without missing a beat. "Ok, who's the running back," her dad asks. "Marshawn Lynch," Kalee says. "Beast mode." The little girl will tell you that the team's head coach is Pete Carroll and the safety is Earl Thomas. In fact, she's a fan of the entire Legion of Boom. And yes, she's a true Seahawks fan: Her dad, Evan, said Kalee only likes to talk about two things before bedtime: the Seattle Seahawks and Jesus.

Is This The Ideal Celebrity Body?

The ideal celebrity body is more than the sum of its parts! A gossip website conducted a poll about the best celebrity features, then put them together to create the most perfect specimen of a famous female. The result- which includes Jennifer Aniston’s legs and arms, Jennifer Love Hewitt’s boobs, Gwen Stefani’s abs, Sofia Vergara’s curves and hair, Zooey Deschanel’s eyes, Kate Middleton’s smile, Megan Fox’s eyebrows, Victoria Beckham’s jawline and Scarlett Johansson’s nose- is sort of like if Frankenstein was pretty. So here she is: 

Of course, you'll notice personality was not one of the features the included!

Billy Pleads No Contest

Billy Currington appeared in a Georgia courtroom on Friday and entered a plea of no contest to the charge of elderly abuse, according to the Savannah Morning News. The judge sentenced Billy to five years' probation, fined him $1,000 and ordered him to go through an anger management course. The plea and sentence stem from an incident that happened in Tybee Island, Georgia in April. According to reports, Billy chased charter boat captain, Charles Harvey Ferrelle (age 70), in a boat after Ferrelle drove his boat past a house where the singer was staying. Currington reportedly followed the elderly man began threatening him verbally. Billy's lawyer, Alex Zipperer, told the judge that his client was "extraordinarily embarrassed" by the incident. Zipperer also said, "It certainly won't happen in the future." The charge of terroristic threats against Currington was dropped as part of the negotiated plea deal. Billy's record will be expunged if he completes his sentence without incident.